walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
