Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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