I can tuck mytits in my pants
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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