I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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