so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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