Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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