atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
