I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
