One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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