well most of my day revolves around power hour
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize