it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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