Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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