Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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