and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
