I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You took a bar mat shot.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
