someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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