if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
