Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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