**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
