11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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