everyone is single if you try hard enough
Farmville is her only friend.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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