you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
