there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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