Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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