let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize