we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
