I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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