So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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