Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
