Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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