He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
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So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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