I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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