They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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