Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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