Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
