community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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