guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
