after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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