smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
