Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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