Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
