Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
