dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
