Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize