i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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