people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
