Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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