I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
