my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
