I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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