Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
