all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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