That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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