do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
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I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
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I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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