im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
