I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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