ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
